


Tell Him

by JazzRaft



Series: Dark at Night [28]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Heavy Angst, M/M, Post-Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-23
Updated: 2017-03-23
Packaged: 2018-10-09 12:03:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10411734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JazzRaft/pseuds/JazzRaft
Summary: Nyx imparts the King's final words to his grieving son.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted [tumblr](http://jazzraft.tumblr.com/post/157705279092/i-love-noctnyx-thanks-to-you-i-know-ur-probably) for an anonymous request.

Nyx had both been pining for and dreading the reunion with Noctis while he hitch-hiked from truck to truck, outpost to diner, all across Duscae to catch up with him. The days since the prince’s departure and the city’s fall had felt like years. As Nyx nursed the bruises and tried not to curse over how the endlessly rocky roads out in the country hurt every wound like all hell, he dreamt of what a relief it would be to crush Noctis into his chest, and tried not to think of the despair which would follow it.

 _“Tell Noctis…_ ” Regis had said. His final order as Drautos loomed nearer behind him.

He knew that he had to. And he knew that it was going to hurt even worse than a bumpy road on his battered body. It had hurt enough to hear it himself. He was dreading how badly it would hurt Noctis.

But, he _had_ to tell him. It was an order, and it was a grim honor, and it was an obligation he had to fulfill. For his King, and his Prince, and his love.

It was after the initial, _painful_ joy of being knocked to the floor and gripped so tightly in Noctis’s arms that Nyx was afraid every healing wound would break open again. It was after the relentless kisses and cascade of tears; salt and smiles falling into Nyx’s mouth. It was after the inevitable introductions and awkwardness of bringing the boyfriend to meet the boy’s friends. It was after a hot shower, bandages and a “be good to him” speech from Ignis, a warm and _amazing_ meal as recompense, that Nyx stole the time alone with Noctis he’d so desperately been craving and secretly fearing.

All either of them wanted to do the second the door closed on the motel room was fall into bed and climb so deep and so close into each other that nothing could ever part them again. The wheeze of Nyx’s sore muscles and carved up skin put a mutually apologetic end to the hope of that homecoming. They were left with nothing but silence and gratitude for each other’s safety after that, and the unsaid grief for everything that had been lost around it.

He knew that even if Noctis hadn’t asked him, he would have to tell him. And he knew that if he didn’t tell him now, he would ruin him even more for telling him later. Better to get all the breaking done in one go than to have him heal only to break him all over again.

Noctis held it together right up to the end. He took a shaky breath as Nyx started and his face locked into a grim composure, his eyes glued to Nyx’s lips as they recited everything that had happened to kill Insomnia and his father. Nyx told him all about meeting Luna and about her unintentional endeavors in giving him a heart attack with her frequent leaps of faith over endless chasms of open air. He told him about the Kinsglaive’s part in the betrayal, tried not to curse and to cry himself as he recounted his fallen comrades that had stayed faithful to the end. He told him about running through a collapsing city to rescue the King, and then he had to tell him about his failure.

About how Regis had saved him and Luna before himself. About how he had entrusted the Oracle’s survival to Nyx before turning to face death on his own two feet.

He told him about the last words Regis had imparted to Nyx to deliver to Noctis. He told him about the pain and the pride in his eyes.

He told him that Regis had said, “ _Tell Noctis… That while I may have failed him, he has never failed me. Tell him every day that he is loved, for all the days that I never did.”_

When he finished, Noctis squeezed his eyes shut and curled his head in towards his chest. Small, shuddering sounds raked from his chest, and this was the part Nyx had been dreading the most. Grief wasn’t something he could heal. He couldn’t crack open a hi-potion and let that do the work for him. Neither of them could warp away fast enough to get away from the pain. There wasn’t a spell or curative in all of Eos that could fix that kind of hurt.

All Nyx could try and do was reach out to touch Noctis’s trembling shoulders and remind him he was there. That he would be the medicine for this infection of the soul if he needed him to be. That he was still his glaive and that all he wanted was to protect him from everything, even the things he couldn’t drive a dagger through.

“You know how you can prepare for something you’re whole life,” Noctis said. “And the second that something happens, all of that time you thought you would be ready suddenly amounts to nothing?”

He looked up at Nyx with the most hopeless, hurt eyes he’d ever seen. It made all of his wounds feel like they were bleeding again.

“All that time spent preparing for the worst… Now, all I want is to have it all back to use it the way I should have. I should have been better, I should have said…”

“You can’t do that, Noct,” Nyx said, gripping his shoulders tight and ducking his head to look up into his eyes. “Trust me. ‘Should have’ is how you ruin yourself, worse than this already is ruining you. Dealing with this is going to hurt and it’s going to hurt for a while, and wondering about ‘should have’ is only going to make it hurt even more and for even longer.”

“Isn’t that what I deserve?” Noctis whispered, his words coarse and hating himself. “For never saying I loved him, either?”

“You didn’t need to.”

Nyx pulled his hand through Noctis’s hair because he didn’t know what else to do. He only knew that Noctis liked it, and that comforting was all Nyx wished he would let him do. He wanted Noctis to let him carry out his father’s last wish. To tell him every day that he was loved and always had been, and for him to know that he deserved that love. That he was worthy of that love. That he should never feel guilty for being worth it.

This was something Nyx and Regis had always agreed upon. It was something that had earned each of their approval of one another. And something that had made Regis’s last words hurt Nyx even more.

“You heard the man, right?” he said, the corners of his mouth pulling into a small smile. “He said you never failed him. Let’s not start by letting him down now, okay? All he wanted was for you to hear that you’re loved so, here’s day one. I love you, and your father loves you, and I think the three of us know that you love him, too.”

Noctis released a shaky sigh, and slowly pushed his head into Nyx’s shoulder, resting there like it was too heavy for him to hold up anymore. Nyx’s fingers kept soothing through his hair, stubbornly insisting on the miniscule comfort the touches might give.

A less simple task than he’d originally thought. Telling Noctis he was loved was easy enough; convincing him that he deserved it, a bit more difficult. But Nyx had owed Regis everything in life. He would never stop owing him, not even in death. He would keep to his King’s final wish, telling his son he loved him, every damn day for as long as it took; a debt that, even when paid, Nyx would gladly keep on paying.


End file.
